砂漠のJeffire

Jeffirean Stories

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Today (actually these few days) I asked myself while walking on the road mindlessly 3 questions:

a. Among my friends, who is still writing a blog these days?
b. Given a choice, will I get married and settle down or go roam the world one day?
c. Does doing good things give you a better life?

The funny part about the first question is that since I left the laptop in the shop, have I not been reading anyone's blog since. Even my favourite writer (one of you) I also have not read for months (or years?). So if you are writing still, it's so cool!

The second question I asked myself while walking mindlessly so my first reaction would be the 2nd option since it's so "carefree". The point about being carefree is really the idea of not having to worry about anything but that's not true! I had travel before and all of the time I worry so much about not having enough money (or the right currency), I worry about getting lost, and I worry about my things at home (my business mostly). So when will be the day I can really go carefree? It's still a far far vision away which I have no answer for currently... but if you ask me about the first option... hahaha, I mean I do get jealous when I see couples holding hands, hugging one another, or smiling and chatting with one another so happily while I'm always doing all sorts of stupid things alone like delivering goods... so maybe you can call it sour grapes. Lol.

The third question popped out when I compare myself to some of the people I know. I mean I don't do alot of good things either but I seem to be in a pretty good spirit most of the time (except when I get reminded of the second question but eww..) My belief is that when you do good things, you will be rewarded but you will not be rewarded if you do good things out of the sake for being rewarded. Alot people do good things for all sorts of reasons apart from thinking that it's just for the good of it. For example, I will give up my seat to the elderly but not because I feel like giving up to the person but because I don't want to be stared at for not giving up the seat (by the way, I never sit on reserve seat on the train). Likewise I donate coins to the student collecting donations not because I feel it's good to do so but more like I have been through the stupidity of it and I pity the student (hahaha). Whichever the case, the only times when I have really did good things for the sake of feeling good is when I provided directions to the people who need them... Yeah, whether it's real directions or life directions... I feel obliged for the good sake of the person, which is not due to social stigma or empathy or anything else. I just feel like doing so.

One day, if I get new answers to the 3 questions, I will write again and it will be fun comparing them to now!

Acknowledged my existence at
1:04 AM