Jeffirean Stories
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
How does it feel to be ignored?
Why are women easily jealous?
How can guys be so greedy to want everything?
Why are people selfish?
Sometimes I have many thoughts which I am unable to sort out, but many times, in my opinion, human emotions overrun logic. No doubt we all have reasons, somehow. Unfortunately, not every reason is viable when the environment and other interacting agents (people/things) are involved. Because of the butterfly effect in our life, small initial changes will result in unpredictable huge effects. Hence we should really consider deeply our reasons in making a certain decision, otherwise it may really end up hurting people a plenty.
My eyes today report several sights over the past few days:
1. Fiona Xie in SMU (and Ben Yeo of course)
My ears swoon when I hear Fiona talking... she has a sha-sha voice but it's so emotive..too bad I didn't have a chance to take a photo with her, unlike some lucky girl... hur!
2. Sissy guy near SMU
Just now, I saw a smoking old guy who is so sissified... scary. If it was young, I got nothing to say... but old and smoking and whining on the phone. Oh GOD.
3. Soapy Korean shows
THUMBS UP for Korean shows!! I only got time to watch those that play on the SCV channel but so far I have been touched or attracted by many of those shows, like my favourite Fantasy Couple 梦幻情侣, Full House 浪漫满屋, and 雪之女王 and this superb 我的女孩. Heartwrenching, heartwarming, excited, pulsating... woo. So far I like most of the male actors and of course some of the female actors as well. I can't name many of them, because I can't really read Korean when they show credits (or sometimes it isn't shown). Now thinking of it, why did we actually bother to watch Singaporean shows at all?! They are so wooden, the story is so lame, the set looks cheapskate.
Hmm, guess this is all I want to say for the day. Any NUS/NTU mates onz for KTV this Friday afternoon?
-heart pain-
Acknowledged my existence at
11:55 PM
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
i am information overwhelmed!!!
everyday i have to go through tons of snail mails (bills, invoices, business letters), tons of email (school stuff), tons of websites to visit, tons of news to digest, readings (i rarely read assigned readings), and blah blah blah
how do you guys get around this information overload?
finally, one of the most interesting member of the rabbit family has departed for the future, to Birmingham where he will pursue the study of music, the art of life. hopefully everything's fine there. heh. thanks to him, we had a really indulgent supper at the airport --> Popeyes! (fried cajun chicken! WITH SKIN!!!) Yumm.... but so sad, so much energy ingested. I'm getting fatter!!!!!
I need to remind myself of 3 things:
1. be more organised with the information, get a notebook or a post it board!
2. be punctual by going out earlier and sleeping less!
3. do what is important first, not what you like first!
oh GOD, whoever, whereever, whatever you are, let me have a good Mid-Autumn Festival by bestowing me a snowskin green tea mooncake~ and maybe with some soy bean milk, or hot oolong tea (or any other chinese tea)
i'm never gonna dance again....
-retro-musicified-
Acknowledged my existence at
12:31 AM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
woo, i think i had too much of sun today during my hootball session that i have a slight headache the whole day. played well initially during the game but got more and more mentally retarded as people put higher and higher expectations on me. they also called me "nakamura" (the name on the jersey which i usually wear, though i did not wear it today) which isn't my name. i got fed up eventually and appealed to all to call me by my name. but i think the main reason why i played more and more retarded is because of the higher expectations placed on me. i don't understand the way of hootball played by certain people, and this will result in a gap of expectations and an different approach in the gameplay. i hope i will be able to shoulder the expectations soon because i know i can command the field with my foot.
after the hootball session, i went to bathe at delta swimming complex. saw some short guy wearing sunglasses, which i thought was interesting in a swimming complex. then since i was alone, i was afraid that my belongings were stolen, so i left my door slightly open while bathing, so that i could peep outside. luckily there were no problems eventually. i forgot to bring a certain something, and i had to quickly dry up and get out. hahaha. =x haha, guess what is it?
anyway the reason i went to bathe at the swimming pool is because it is the nearest to the hootball court i was playing and also that i was going to visit my grandfather in hospital. my grandpa looks fine in the hospital despite undergoing chemotherapy, chirpy and chatty. unfortunately, everyone else in the family is not telling him that he has cancer and worse still, the nurses mention the word "cancer" from time to time, so i don't know if he knows the truth or not. my grandma says if "nobody knows what is it, that's why they say it's cancer". anyway the intention is to keep him worry-free and cheery as he undergoes the treatment. hopefully everything will be fine soon.
then i went to novena square to collect my purchase, 100ml of peppermint essential oil! woooohoo! there were so many events being held there, like beach volleyball, and even bowling! and there was also a drumming display by a korean cultural group. first time saw so many people at that shopping mall (which is like 3-in-1, velocity + novena square + square2).
the next stop was hougang and i met up with shasha and pika. we had kfc drumlets after they had white mccadamia cake from secret recipe.. yum! kfc drumlets the bbq flavour one is very common, don't eat it. we walked around hougang mall and decided that next month if possible, we should mass order the new PSP slim. i know quite a few people want to buy PSPs so if you want, let me know. i can go mass order at the wholesaler~
after dinner, i went home while pika went town to look for his sister. had a nice bath in which i scrubbed myself well using the super fragrant passionfruit scrub from the body shop... wooo
yesterday was a "grievance pouring session" at amk hub. haha. although the mood might had swung downwards sharply at times, but the common grouse at work/school made everyone open their hearts (and mouth). although it was quite troublesome to see the girls cry, i was quite happy to see everyone feeling better after the session. heh, if you need someone who is quite unemotional to air your grievances, jeffire counselling services will try to be available. just 1. call, 2. sms 3. msn 4. check if i can meet up =)
okie, i think i shall get back to the hootball match on the tv screen. goals goals goals!
-sweating-
Acknowledged my existence at
10:01 PM
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The responses from the previous posts were stronger than I would think of. Kinda like a backlash. Not just what was commented, but what was then communicated among the affected parties in the aftermath. Surprisingly, the level of understanding among all of us had significantly improved, no bad blood was created while many lessons were learnt. I still have no idea of the results, though whatever it is, I am ready to accept. And of course, I have no intention of stopping my endeavours in going for auditions. I am not interested in becoming an artiste, a celebrity, but I just would like to know how much potential do I really can tap from myself. I know my talent is somehow special, but maybe overall I do not have the mental guile nor the genuine passion to perform. To like to sing is one thing, while to have a performing interest is another. Yet, if anyone of you wants to hear me still, I will definitely try to oblige.
I mentioned that my classes have a sort of learning synergy in them because of the subjects that are linked. A recurring theme is complexity theory, or a slight variation, known as chaos theory. The idea of these theories reflect that cause and effect is no longer predictable in a linear manner and that small variations in inital conditions will create significantly different outcomes. This does not mean that we are unable to predict behaviour though, because there is still a space existing among the straddle of chaos and order, known as the edge of chaos. This space is where creativity and change will be at its strongest but inertia at its lowest.
There are many application of the theories. Chaos theory is primarily a mathematical theory and most of its observed phenomena are in the mathematics and physics zone. I shan't elaborate too much except that if you know how to make use of formulae and iterations, you can do super beautiful, yet natural looking designs. The other theory is primarily derived from a sociology point of view, and has its applications mostly in the organisational behaviour field. Here, one of the most important things I had learnt is to constantly push people into the "edge of chaos", that means, to make people more creative, more adaptive and less resistant to change. How do I do it? Usually the simplest way is to create trouble, like the controversial questions I ask, or irritating subjects I mention in this blog. This should help to generate more ideas or more feedback (assuming that people are able and willing to even think of ideas, comments, or solutions). In this way, by opening thinking and communicating opportunities, we improve our individual intelligence while also adding to the collective intelligence as a group.
Personally, I also think that it helps me to find out certain characteristics of the people when they respond. Mostly I get to know the level of their understanding, intelligence and criticallity, which in turn, aids me in formulating the right level of expectations and select appropriate subjects when engaging others in conversations. It's quite fun right? But those people who cannot appreciate such interactions will end up thinking that I'm insane or "bo liao". In my opinion, being able to engage in thinking (I don't mean intellectual wor) conversations make the interactions more meaningful and the enjoyment deeper.
Someone then told me that guys love to crap, now I cannot remember who, but I think crapping, when it involves thinking, should be viewed as meaningful as well even though the end result may not be constructive in most contexts. So... just don't get too critical when you are in a group of people who are really talking about stuff that seem to be meaningless to you. Haha.
And, to sum it up, the current song chorus that reads, 啊,多么痛的领悟, tells me that if no boat is rocked, no further understanding can be derived. I wish to understand you people more, and further more, as you grow, you learn more and accumulate more experiences and ideas. No doubt quarreling, disputes will be here and there, but in the end, as we stay cool and truthful, we will still move on together, friends, buddies, lovers or even strangers.
-acting intellectual, lol-
Acknowledged my existence at
4:55 PM
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Finally I have time to change the blog song! Actually it's not that I don't have the time, it's just that I don't have the mood. Like what Keanbon wrote in his blog, some of us formulate thoughts when we are really doing our usual routine, not when we are in front of the computer trying to put something down. So either you make blogging a routine like IceQueen or you wait till you have the mood.
And I realised that many people no longer have that kind of mood to blog. Especially those who have already begun work, take a look at Yingzie, ShashaBear, Princess Cow, Jinki, Kevin, etc. Charles, Joycezie, , Keanbon, Kaibin, JQi, and myself and some other blogs I read have a pattern of sporadic entry. The only routine blogs now seems to be only of my senior Peimin's and IceQueen's. Wonder how do they make it such a routine?
Apart from that, another issue I actually like to reflect is about friends. What do we exactly want from a friend? Like I mentioned long ago, I have friends which I put in different circles, but I realised, it is not just that simple. Some friends move into the closer circle at certain times, some move out over time. What do I exactly look for in a good friend? Here's what I feel, a good friend:
a. Should be nice to talk to, no airs, humourous, not petty minded
b. Should have some elements of gossiper, complainer, whiner, and supporter
c. Should have initiative to link up, hang out
d. Should have diverse interests, may not be similar to mine
e. Should have a mindset of self-improvement always
Most importantly, a good friend should not even bother about the list above. It's fated. Really, in life, you never know what you get.
So why are some people sick of the world, sick of life?
Some people we meet makes our day, some other people we meet breaks our day. Some people are very unlucky to meet all the unwelcomed people, while some of them are adverse to meeting anymore unwelcomed people because of the old adage "one bitten twice shy". Seriously, no matter how we psycho ourselves, we cannot really forget about the past. That's so sad, isn't it? Listen to how the song comments on this...
Nonetheless, the ever positive Jeffire says, "if you try long enough, one day you will get it". How long is long, I have no idea, but certainly we should try to enjoy the processo of trying at least.
Brings me back to the last part of this entry. I went to the audition badly prepared, and I doubt I will pass because I probably used only 10% of my singing prowess. However I forgot all the basics, like facial expression, eye contact, breathing blah blah blah, so I think the judges may think that I am wasting their time. They didn't even ask me to sing a 2nd song lor! While I think it's another good lesson learnt, a few friends whom I think they are very close to me, they said
"丢脸"
"不要参加更好"
"每次都这样"
Let me say this:
如果我可以
请让我爱自己
让我更用心 更用情
用全部的感情
唱情歌给你
可是我不可以
我不能爱自己
谁让我没有心 没有情
没有一点感觉
流眼泪给自己
Friends, are there to support you or drag you? What is called "support"? Is it just say "you can do it?" Is it just "jiayou?" If it's so easy, I would have all of you supported since I have been "jiayou-ing" everybody here.
-自我反省-
Acknowledged my existence at
12:07 AM
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Now going nto week 4 of the term, I declare that I am so tired that I wish I get one whole day to sleep on the bed. Unfortunately, I have to contend with sleeping on the train because in my view, that is the most efficient usage of sleeping time. It is also with regrets that I had my first missed class of the term, the 830am Intelligent Organisations class. Sigh.
Recently the weariness can also be seen on my face as my schoolmates have been teliing me that I look so tired. My face is also suffering from dullness unlike a fortnight ago. This sucks. Add to that, there are still alot of things to do. Despite being 1237am now, tomorrow there is still a 830am class which I have to be in school before 8am for a presentation rehearsal. Sigh.
I am also starting to miss some nice, cheap and healthy food. One example is FRESH, HOT soya bean milk. I also have cravings for some local fare like roti prata! But there isn't any opportunity to eat! Sigh.
So after 3 sighs, what should I do to get out of the rut?
In my opinion, I think I would want to clear all the work first, then go and grab a good sleep, and finally end it with a great meal soon. Plus there will be plenty of football action on the weekends, so it's a great weekend to look forward to.
Haha, 12 Sep is my mother's birthday and like my father, I remembered at the 11th hour and had to rush to TCC to get some cake. I think cake is nicer when it's colder, as my mother pointed. Again, she won't be seeing this but I will still want to wish her another blessed year ahead. Both my father and mother are 46 this year and it should be their 25th anniversary soon, I think. So cool right?
Finally, to finish this short post, like to cheer everyone on. Ganbatte ne!! I will be going for my audition for the interschool singing competition organised by SMU's Music Interactive Club on Friday. Will be singing 我要快乐. The target is to make it past the 1st round of auditions! Hahaha.
Wish me luck!
-Yawnzz-
Acknowledged my existence at
12:20 AM
Friday, September 07, 2007
Like I mentioned in the last post, I will complain about my fellow citizens, so now here am I, this is it.
Remember that I mentioned I went for the concert? I remember clearly that on the ticket it said that "infants in arm will not be admitted". Guess what? There was one living example inside the theatre. And true enough, there were wails in between the performance. Moreover, there were stupid people who had their phones ringing despite the host reminding everyone to "switch off all your handphones or set to vibration mode"
Do you know that living in Punggol 21+ doesn't mean that the people here are of the 21+ mentality? Some of them still live in the Lost Ages, I believe. When you can simply just step on the lever which opens the dustbin chute, throw your trash in, there is some idiot who chooses to leave his smelly leftovers on the sides, expecting some guy to throw. Man, we all pay the same constituency fees, but why do you expect the extra privilege? Some other idiots threw stuff down the corridor window, including underwear. Eeeek. Whenever you walk through the level carpark - lift lobby walkway, look up, there's trash above you. If it's raining, good luck. Maybe some creepy crawlie will be falling on you....
Seriously, our people ought to change their 3rd world mentality if they wish to enjoy 1st world standard of living. Spitting, throwing trash, talking loudly on the phone, hogging queues, blah blah blah. Welcome to Singapore!
Moving on to other topics, school work has been moving at a frantic pace as the professors are all stepping on the gas. This is the first time in class that I realised our(my) standards is far from what a world class undergraduate is. We(I) don't take proactive action to find out more about the topic, we are just contented with whatever material is given in the notes. We(I) don't make linkages to real life facts, we(I) say "we(I) think...", "maybe....", "i guess....". Pathetic me!
On the other hand, this term is a real cool term as I moved away from mundane classic theories to new theories in many of the courses I take. Actually I am lucky that I had read various new and quirky stuff during the holidays such as quantum mechanics, archaelogical geology, evolution, astronomy, and mathematics. Most importantly, I flip Wikipedia when I feel bored to read topics which I absolutely get no sense of. It somehow paid off as I got to know a few things that a few others seem to have no idea of, for example, the butterfly effect, strange attractors, julia fractals, etc etc. If you know anything about such stuff, cool.
Finally, before I sign off and go to bed, may I take the opportunity to ask you if you had ever dreamt of a girl smiling at you and asking you "can i be your girlfriend?" (reverse the gender for girls reading this blog)
Yeah, I daydream a lot..... lol. By the way, the girl in my dream was unidentifiable to any real life person I know.... probably some face i saw on the streets or something. Haha.
-sandstorm-
Acknowledged my existence at
12:44 AM
Monday, September 03, 2007
For once, I seem to enjoy Sunday totally, which is pretty unusual for me, for Sunday is a day of rushing to work and then suffer the barrage of courtesy-less Singaporeans. Anyway, overall the weekend was fine except that a good, well deserve rest is lacking.
Sunday began on a great note after playing street soccer near my residence. Today I played much better, scored some nice goals, etc. After that I ran home, bathed and went to lunch with Pika at Toa Payoh. Nice wanton mee from Choo Kang Roast Meats. Following lunch, I returned the "Good Food in Singapore" guide and went home again. Surprisingly, my dad says he is not going to the workshop today, which is a rarity. However, I am very happy for him because he deserves a good break. In the end, I heard they went shopping while I attended a Japanese music concert at Jubilee Hall, in which Icequeen was performing as member of the Japanese Cultural Society choir. It was quite a maddening rush there as the traffic jam was horrendous despite me only needing to pass 3 bus stops from Dhoby Gaut MRT station.
The first segment was the "koto" ensemble. The japanese music instrument is similar to the Chinese gu zheng. Based on what I hear from Pika play (he plays the gu zheng), music from the "koto" seems to be slower in rhythm and slightly lower in pitch. The "koto" performance was interesting, but the music wasn't anywhere stirring for me.
The next segment was the choir. First idea was of course to catch where was Icequeen standing. Oh, 2nd row out of 3, 4th from the left. She was indeed exhilarating with such an elaborate hairstyle and costume! Bijousan ne! However, my eyes were more fixed on the triangular force in the middle, 2 aunties and a young lady, singing so enthusiastically with a bright smile. It was contrasting to one big-sized guy on the right, whose mouth was kinda like reluctant to open. I thought that guy forgotten his lyrics. Nonetheless, the choir, with its mixed variety of talents, young and old, male and female, sang pretty well. Oh, and the conductor, I wonder what kind of costume she was wearing. It's kinda like a Vietnamese style dress, but it also looks like what Haruno Sakura wears in Naruto... hmm.
The last 2 segments were the Hainan Harmonica Orchestra and the Japanese Ladies' Chorus. AMAZING! It's so amazing to have one whole orchestra in which 90% of the people play the harmonica! Not the usual kind. No wonder they are so revered in the world. As for the Chorus, the singing was soulful and emotional, finishing the program well on a high note.
The day ended on an emotional rollercoaster as I watched the weekly Korean drama "Fantasy Couple" (or Couple or Trouble). Wonder who will the female lead finally choose between her husband, whom she might have loved before, or the male lead, who she loved when she lost her memory of the past. This drama is funny, but at the same time, touching. Do catch it if you can!
Yesterday was Saturday. Another bout of football at Redhill, in which I scored some nice goals and played some weird football. Maybe I have improved slightly over these few weeks. Heh. Jinki and Kevin were with me as well, so it was nice having them go all the way with me to Redhill and kick some balls! Haha. After that, I went back home to clear some work but fell asleep after lying on the bed for awhile. Woke up and found out that I had to rush to town to meet Pika and Gerald. Gerald bought a new laptop, Sony Vaio SZ series while Pika bought a router. For this Comex 07 I didn't buy anything! Woo, that's like a celebratory call. Haha. I'm not a gadget geek by the way. I eventually slept at 4am because I had to clear my work..
Overall the week was pretty good, except that I need to be on time for my 830am classes, and also I need to read up the readings! I haven't got down to downloading them, let alone read. Pengz.. I also went to Sunsports Club at their new Kallang address to play table tennis with my CCA mates. Realised that I have been improving fast too. Hehe.
I guess I would just end here and go to sleep. Shall leave my complaining about Singaore and Singaporeans to the next post. =p
-desert burial-
Acknowledged my existence at
1:22 AM
