砂漠のJeffire

Jeffirean Stories

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Dear friends

When was it that I began to lose focus on life? I really cannot remember, but looking at some of my friends' nicks saying 'slack now, perish later', I cannot really fathom why am I not doing what I am supposed to do. Here the question is 'what the hell am I supposed to do anyway?'

What was important to me then didn't seem to be important anymore now.

Hence it brings up a thought: How do you determine what can be done for the short term and what should be done for the long term, if your priorities keep changing and changing?

My dear friends, what are your priorities in life today? Share share leh?

School
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Personally, I didn't think I would come thus far. 10 years ago, people were saying 'wah, you are a graduate!' As time progressed, it seemed like getting into university was chicken, nearly everyone on the street has a degree of some sort. I really felt cheated. Even if I didn't really burn any oil to get here, what is the purpose in all to get here in the first case? Did I arrive here by my own merit or sheer luck? Not too sure of all these, but in today's context, my politically correct answer is 'It is a licence to the future' while my heart says 'A degree education is just a simulation of your future 5-10 years life' If today Joyce says she is dying of schoolwork, 5 years later, I bet she will find working life a breeze. But for me, I don't want my life 5 years later to be a breeze because today I nearly died working so hard. I prefer living today with a slight breeze and later also with a slight breeze. Hence today, my first priority, unlike most people, is not school but rather my well-being.

Work
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You can say that I'm doing like 1 full-time job and 2 part-time jobs (these 2 are non-income) at the same time (coupled with schooling). To me, the dollars and cents that come with work are not so important because my family is surviving well (we don't mind more aid from the government though =p) but the most important thing is to learn what I want to learn. As you know I have already submitted my resignation to my current company, but I gave a politically correct reason inside, rather than what I really felt. In fact, I felt that I had learn enough for my interest and it's time to go on and find something else to do. Work is never a priority in my life because I believe you should infuse interest, passion with your work. I feel no passion in my current work anymore although I still possess the huge interest. Perhaps one day I will resume my interest in the travel industry with the passion I once had in the beginning.

Life and Family
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Life to me is about doing something satisfactory (in this case, let's exclude the scope of work and school). In some sense, perhaps we should think of it this way - some people are satisfied being able to play a few songs on the piano, some are satisfied by going jogging regularly (or keeping themselves fit) while others enjoy recreational activities such as playing video games, watching tv, etc. Enjoying life with your family, loved ones, is just as important, if not, more important than pursuing a career that earns you big bucks but you end up going home to see people who were once familiar in the past become strangers today. I do not advocate couples to stick together all the time (you will get sick eventually anyway, haha) but I guess there is still some need for a get-together at times, whether it's with your loved ones, with your buddies, or even with your dear fish swimming in the fish tank. It's just that simple.

Yet I feel that these days when I get back home, my mother only bugs me with more work. My dad occassionally talks to me about football and stuff, so it's much better. My brother constantly barrages me with stupid questions that I get irritated, but it's more because of the wrong timing. By the time my parents and me are home, usually it's 10-11pm at night. That sort of timing is mostly occupied by discussion about my dad's businesses, our plans on moving house, etc. It's more work oriented than life oriented, and hence we have somehow lost our lives to work. We rarely sit together for a meal now, less the occassional late night dinners my parents and I have. My brother and I don't play any 2-player games anymore recently, no more WE.. I guess I need to get more time at home and help everyone to relax more by sharing more of the workload at home.

Friends
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Close friends are rare to come by. I lost my best friend to social causes some years ago, but today I have a bunch of friends and the 7seas whom I say, are just outside the 'best friends' line I draw. Different people may have different definitions of what they think a 'good', 'close' and 'best' friend is. Here's mine for some referencing:

'Good' - chat freely about stuff in life, know one another phone numbers, names, residential area, email address, basic interests, meet up once in a while (on or offline)

'Close' - the above plus being able to talk about sad stuff in life, and possibly it's on your list to wish for important occassions like birthdays, CNY, Christmas, etc. And possibly the few people you will invite to your home for chit chats, dvd watching, go together on trips etc.

'Best' - the above plus being the first (for those without a lover)/second person you will whine to about stuff you can't tell your family, play stupid silly games with, share dreams, cry with, etc.

Friends are important to anyone, and friends can also make or break your life. I hold very high priority for my friends, whether they are good, close or best friends, or even associates. I hope to make as many good friends as possible, but of course, there's only so much attention I can give to each of them... so there's some limit I guess. Luckily, these stuff are usually attributable to fate and hence, we needn't worry too much about being unable to find good friends. However, there is still a need for prudence when making friends as I mentioned, friends can make or break your life.

Love
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Needless to say, everyone has very high priority for this. I shan't talk much about it except that you can only truly love by taking off all your personas, be the true you (or at least the person you truly want to be). Hopefully all of you can find someone in life that you can spend your life CLOSELY with.. too bad, my love life is like the barren desert... and i'm sinking in the quicksand.

My time is soon to be up, maybe another 50% to go... i just wanna focus on living the life i want, working for my passion, to repay mother nature for her wonderful creations, to have a happy family where we all work hard together to live a well fulfilled life together, and to help my friends to live a good life together as well. We should be thankful that fate brought us together out of so many randomness in life....

I thank you for being part of my life, dear all.

Gratitudes
Jeffire

Acknowledged my existence at
12:27 PM