砂漠のJeffire

Jeffirean Stories

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I'm not sure if your eyes are as observant as mine, but here, I have made some small changes to my blog. The main title, Stade de Jeffire is just a Spanish version of the original, and then I feel that this blog is a interaction circle between my friends and I, hence I also changed the title. It reflects the belief I have, this is my space for me to express myself freely, your world to roam your thoughts in and when we have something to discuss, it is where we meet at a point, hence, intersection. I really welcome all to read my thoughts, because it increases my chances of finding somebody whom I can really relate to. Whatever the case is, be it criticism, clarifications, commendations, please feel free to put it across to me. However, as mentioned before, if you could identify yourself as a singular identity, ie, if you are EFG, then please remain as EFG. Vandalism of my comments board is a hurting thing to do to me....

Yes. I believe many people around me think that I'm very sensitive to many things. Indeed, I'm super sensitive to things because apart from being observant, I'm quite a detail person and pretty much a control freak. Of course I understand not everything is within my control, because I break every event up into 2 components, 'fate' and 'decision', ie every event consists of things you cannot control (fate) and things you can control (decision). I hope by saying this, my friends understand that when I say things are fated, it means, even if we decided to do something, the result will still be like that. However, it doesn't mean we should have not done anything because, every decision made is a lesson learnt, and every lesson learnt adds to our life experience. The reason why I am super sensitive to things is because I hope that I can do my best for the things I deem important to me. In my view, when you have more awareness of the people and surrounding, the more information you gather, the more you can control the situation and minimise the game of chance, ie, 'fate' will just be a small component of the eventual result. Nobody complains about success, do they?

What do you consider a friend that only looks you up when they have problems? When they are fine, they don't even ask you out for a drink that sort? Do you consider such a person as your friend? Today I received a call from the friend whom I almost killed 4 years ago. His business has met some cashflow problems and he is trying to raise $35K to solve this problem. I lent him $500 and that was the best I could do. I didn't even lend a cent to my 7sea brother when he was saddled with debts. Now he asks me for $150 more, but I don't have anymore to lend him. Do you think I have done the right thing? I really encourage entrepreneurship among my friends, but I am really not sure if he's doing the right thing, internet business, and overspending when he cannot afford to do so like his mentor. Seriously, I think his mentor is just making a fool out of him. His mentor picked him out from his workplace at Mos Burger, made him spend his life savings on rubbish (to force him to go really desperate to earn money), then gave him an internet business idea that cost him $11k. Well, which internet business will cost you $11k? I can create one with $500, because I have the talent and I know the people who can help me with their skills. But my friend hasn't. I believe that if he goes bankrupt one day (and yes, I will lose my $500), it will be good for him to realise that not everyone who is nice to him is genuinely nice to him. It is also true for the opposite, not everyone who is irritating to you is not nice to you. I also want to ask, am I considered a good friend, or am I just half way there, for given my knowledge, I could have done more for him isn't it? But why did I just stop at lending $500?

I believe that everything requires sincerity and sincerity requires maintenance. While I am very sure I have not done anything insincere (ok, maybe white lies), did I maintain to my friends that I am sincere to them? What do I mean by maintenance? In my view, it's simply just asking how you are doing, any problems, any good news to share, etc. But things can only work if maintenance is 2 way, ie, people take the time to share some concern for their friends, but of course, given today's society, how much time can we spare for others?

Finally, taking a quote from Kenny, whom I enjoyed a very nice lunch with today, "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large group". I realised that it is very difficult to change the minds of the majority, and yes, as the quote says, when the stupid people form the majority, trouble looms. Seriously, I think that the reason I am unhappy most of the time is because I have to deal with a ton of people who are actually NOT stupid, but just don't bother to take their stuff seriously when the time calls for it, and they end up doing stupid things. If people bothered more, life would be much more easier and nicer for everyone...Now, who's thinking that I'm aiming at a particular group of people? Man, you must be as sensitive as me.

Maybe as most of you said so, if I thought less, I would be much more happier...yep, maybe. I would be much happier if I did not have to think for so many people...why should I bother? But if I didn't bother, will it ever occur to you that your overall well-being matters a lot to me? I really care, I just dunno how to show it out, like what you see in tv....i'm not an actor you know.

Yes, my old boss (YJC 15th SC President, Serena) is right, "I don't know the way to success but trying to please everyone is definitely doomed to failure". How right she is.

Mentally burnt out
Jeffire

Acknowledged my existence at
11:29 PM