砂漠のJeffire

Jeffirean Stories

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Hello...

I am going to explore the reason why I am what I am today...

Basically, I'm living in a real world but my mind is stuck in a imagined universe of myself. Hence sometimes I may do things that you may never had thought so.

I dare say I'm a childish person. I like all the kids' stuff. Play, sweet stuff, cartoons, and games, but since I'm living in a real world, I have to restrict myself before I end up being sent to IMH or left alone to live. It spoils my mood all the time because childish people are usually self-centred and demanding too. They only want to enjoy and not work. Or they work only to enjoy for THEMSELVES. That is so sad.

I dare say I'm a naive person. There are always things which I assumed to be naturally so, but in fact, people tend to do things differently from what I think. For example, I will always think whenever you make mistakes, as long as they are reversible (although some may be troublesome), it should not be a case of getting blamed for it ALL the time. Rather than blaming people, I will suggest that the solutions be put forward and that the offending person should apologise and provide as much help as possible in facilitating the solving of the problem. Unfortunately, most people outside, especially superiors, tend to focus on blaming people rather than solving the problem, because they find the rectification process troublesome. Of course I can see that they need to protect their own rice bowls too, as a bad mistake made by a subordinate may result in the sacking of both. That is where the conflict comes in, I'm living in a real world and not the world I imagined so.

I dare say I'm a observant person. Yet being observant tends to make me assuming too. Fortunately, nowadays I have learnt to be more open to asking, and hence I have derived ways to retrieve information from seemingly innocent questions. And of course another good way will be to encourage people to speak up. That is why I keep emphasising that I am willing to listen as long as you are willing to talk. This helps me to learn more. And again, in the real world, most people are not comfortable with talking to any stranger because they usually assume the stranger cannot help. On the contrary I will think that talking to a stranger is easier because there will be no awkward hiding of secrets and stuff, which may hinder the process of solving the problem. Nonetheless, it is a matter of choice and fate, which I will not fight against. I am thankful that I have managed to make some friends out of strangers, with no good reason. That is why I believe in fate. Fate, however, is an ideal concept rather than the true, harsh reality where you make the choice to make things happen or not.

I dare say I'm an open-minded person. There is so much to see in this world and I no longer have any qualms about listening to bad or weird stuff. If I stick to my principles, nobody should be able to influence me. That is a good thing because open-mindedness is one of my principles and it does not hinder me in terms of ethics nor acceptable practices. I am willing to listen, but not necessary to practise what others preach. It has to suit my needs and my situation too anyway. However in the real world, being open-minded means I am subjected to influences, and having principles may not work because in a real world people are flexible whenever they decide that the benefits outweighs the costs. That is another conflicting thought for me.

I dare say I'm a dual-personality person. Surprisingly, it has been observed by my friends that my online persona differs so much from my offline persona. I think it is because of the same reason, you need to wear a mask to protect yourself in the real world, but in the virtual world, you are allowed to start afresh and put on a different personality. Probably you will try to be more perfect than you are in real life, probably you will instead try to be more daring in the virtual world, engaging yourself in things that you may not have possibly done in the real world. I hope you are not thinking about cybersex or related stuff, that is so narrowminded. There are infinite stuff people do on the internet and there are just as infinite number of stuff people do off the internet. It is just so I am one of them and whether it is a good or bad thing, I cannot decide for myself.

I will like to end the exploration here(will resume again some other day) and share with you an interesting adventure.

Setting
A posh, golden condominium with plenty of landscaping, high floors, and 5 towers.
Time
Current era
People
Me & the 7Seas Brothers, Keanbon, a political bigshot who has top-notch security, a food vendor, a mysterious person to seek.
Task
To find the mysterious person who lives in the condominium and pass him the something the brothers have been assigned to.

Scene 1
An overhead view of the condominium, and introduction of the task.

Scene 2
Taking the lift only to be warned not to go to the wrong place lest we want to be killed. The lift stopped at place unknown, and nobody was there.

Scene 3
We nearly got killed when we passed the politician's place. Fortunately I forced the lift to go down by pressing close immediately.

Scene 4
Surprisingly, I don't understand why would I dream of Keanbon together with the 7Seas. But we are having a chit chat at the cafe. The food vendor brought us coffee. And we were very happy.

Scene 5
The mysterious person appears while we take the lift upwards, and the lift doesn't stop at all. We had to force it to stop by smashing the controls. But it didn't stop!

Scene 6
Oh well, I woke up because I forced myself to wake up due to the need to finish up my AS homework. I hate reality!

Now I understand why I like sleeping and dreaming. I can get to places which I have never been to. They are some sort of a combination of my experiences and my imagination. I get to meet people whom I may never been fated to meet with, eg Keanbon, and only Jinki knows him among the brothers. It's a free for all world! I can fly, jump down flats, become a hero, become a coward, touch the people I like which I never will in real life, and whatever your imagination takes you.

So I am still stuck in the real world while my mind still hovers there. That's the reason I will attribute to for my current situation. Ideals vs reality. Cool.

Regards
Jeffire

Acknowledged my existence at
1:14 AM