砂漠のJeffire

Jeffirean Stories

Monday, February 07, 2005

People say Chinese New Year is coming...

Yet today I heard a bad news that my neighbour, a 3-generation family living together, had their grandfather passed away at Sembawang Park. Apparently, my father remarked that he committed suicide...or perhaps due to depression. Last Sunday he was locked up at home by my neighbour, and then he went missing for two days, and today the wake is being held at my void deck now.

I feel real damn sad...I mean he was a very nice elderly who was very healthy. Although he was 77 (last year), he was still working as a piano repairman. That long chat with him last year...remains so fresh in my mind. He asked me to guess his age and I guessed 65, but I got it wrong so he told me 77. Then he told us about how life was so hard then, and even now, at such an age, he still have to work to help to contribute to the family upkeep.

However I had seen my neighbours and the kids...the father and mother seem to be quite well-to-do...the children looked much better dressed than us usually...their home was nicer than ours...haiz.

I feel sad for not being able to make myself available to speak to the old uncle more often...like he was always out before me, and when I got back, he's already at home resting. Nowadays neighbours don't interact as much as before...so it's weird if I were to go over just to chit chat with the elderly...

Therefore, now I shall make it a point to communicate more with the elderly i know in my neighbourhood. There should be nothing to lose by speaking to them. I am so ashamed of my lack of courage..

Chinese New Year...every year I lose hours and hours of sleep because of the 2 days. Cleaning...visiting people...buying goodies...what's the point if I'm not happy?

Nonetheless, I actually had a good day before my dad told me about the old uncle during dinner. Our audition for the Duet Competition didn't glitch much except for a missing last sentence by me (though should be skillfully faked through with a rousing finish) despite only 50 mins of practice between Fern and me. Hahaha. Fern is indeed a great singer, like Stefanie Sun of SMU!

Other than singing, nothing else went right. Now I understand why everyone is flying out during this time...but I can't. So I hope I can spend the 2 days fruitfully and take a good break before embarking on the last charge for the term. I have yet to give more than 50% of my best! Slacker me!

That's why I said someone should come forward to give me a slap...Or someone can just tell me that it's worth my time to work hard for his/her sake. I have no desire to work hard for myself at this depressing juncture...

I shall find some outlet to relax...probably go sing some more...miss the old uncle, miss the old folk of my family...hope to see them during CNY then.

Hope you enjoy a fruitful 2 day break.

If only you heard..
Jeffire

Acknowledged my existence at
11:33 PM