砂漠のJeffire

Jeffirean Stories

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Yawnz

It's been only 4 days since the last entry but life feels like it was many years ago. Many things happened in the busiest weekend I've ever had since school started. And to think that these 4 days I have grown so much. Let see what did I learn and where can I do better. Of course again this will go chronologically.

Sat was the LTB presentation. The team got together early in the morning, and we continued our preparation for the presentation. I was assigned to do the last session on visualising the end of the project. Of course I put it as "Success Visualisation", and my chart was only 4 points long. The powerpoint I did wasn't utilised in the end because our presentation was too long, with the video taking 4mins. A few hours of time gone wasted because the team didn't even look at any of it. Sadz. However I must say we certainly did a good job as in the end we got a prize for being the best 6 teams..Yeah!

After the presentation I hanged around in school checking email and replying them, and preparing my SCS stuff. I stayed in school because I was going for night cycling~ yeah...one more goal achieved. What was memorable was the real long distance we went and the super downslope near Maris Stella High. What was unmemorable was the stupid bike I've got in the first phase. It couldn't gear up! So I was desperately pushing my legs down to hold on to the super light pedal. In the end what culminated was that I sped too close to the guy in front of me (because of the downslope and the low gear) and jammed suddenly without checking behind (no rear mirror mah :P), causing the guy behind me to crash and fall. Luckily he only had a bruise..phew. After the next stop I managed to change to a better bike and the whole trip was pretty smooth. It was very exciting and I look forward to the real thing where I will be leading a team of 8 cyclists! Hee. Hope nothing bad will happen this time, especially most likely my teammates would be my OG people.

Reached home around 8am the next morning...slept till 1pm and then woke up to find that my mother was still cooking lunch. I had to wait while getting ready to go out to queue for Jeff Chang's autograph. Hahahaha. I'm already 21 and as a guy why am I doing this? Well, finally I can spend sometime for my ownself, and since 1997 when I first heard his Meng Xiang (Dreams) that song, it has been a 7 year affair listening to his ballads. I am also quite mistaken by people who think I'm trying to imitate him because my name is "Jeffire" and I do sing like him. However like I said, it's a misunderstanding. The name "Jeff-fire" came from the game booklet of "Secret of Mana"and my liking for fire magic...and why I sing like him is just because when I sang one of his songs while walking home with my secondary school buddies one day, Dan said it sounded nice, so from then on I realised I should learn how to sing better...so from who? Of course from Jeff Chang lor. His voice is great rite? Incidentally my 'dou yin' (vibra) was learnt from singing Jacky Cheung's songs. Hahaha...so hope this clears up some wrong ideas around. Oh ya, I managed to grab 3 autographed "Xia Yi Ge Yong Yuan" (The Next Forever) album and will be giving out 2 of them! Hehe. They will be for my 2 friends in SMU...haha

After the autograph session I went to Perlini Silver to check out why the shop was full the last time I walked past (but it was empty when I walked in), then bought a ring for my mother who said she wanted a pair of wedding rings for my dad as well. Since I couldn't afford (and I doubt there were male rings in Perlini Silver, if there is please enlighten me) both rings, I got one for my mother whose birthday was on 12 Sep! Haha. When I gave it to her she was so happy as she herself had forgotten it was her birthday! Hee..she also said she wouldn't bear to wear it...ah... well guess she may wear it when she goes for special events ba..

This brings me to the birthday celebration at Subing's home.. heh. On my way there while I was crossing the road there was someone waving frantically on a vehicle right in front of the white line...oh it was Jane! Luckily I did take a look closely as usually I wouldn't bother. Maybe it's the chemistry between us~ Haha. I managed to get a free ride from her boyfriend...and then met the other councilmates. Boss, Daniel (and gf), Adrian(boss' bf), and Chew Peng...so it was like only I was the single and available person there, wahaha, but that's nothing la. We were stuck at Macdonald for a while as we wrote on Jane's selfmade birthday card (for orders please do contact me because she's really veri good at it, though it's not veri professional looking, it's really nicely made) for Subing. After that Subing's bf came to bring us to Subing's home, which was a long long walk away. ZT was there earlier than us. Woo... so the councillors had a brief update on each other's life while we ate the food. Subing's mum is a good cook man! I didn't eat much though, cos the shirt I wore was abit tight...haha.

Had to leave early as the last segment of the day was given to my OG people. They had dinner at Cafe Cartel in Suntec, which I couldn't go due to the birthday celebration. I was halfway to Suntec on the bus when Tim told me to go Lucky Plaza instead. I got that shortly afterwards and we had a good time taking photos rather than playing pool. Haha. Anyway the photos will be up later when I have more time, but Celine said she very shy to show her face...hmm let me ponder about it further....my OG these bunch of girls all very pretty wan..haha...are you guys waiting eagerly?

The weekend was gone but Mon there was a group reflection. If you read till now, I thank you for the effort because what happened on Mon made a huge impact on me. It was pretty negative though, because my LTB group hammered me for my past undesirable acts for being late, for being not participative, for giving late opinion, and nobody told me I did anything good. I actually wanted to cry, but I felt I needed to defend myself instead. Yet seriously as I reflect on it, they were all right. My punctuality has always been questioned through the past 10yrs since I left primary school. The way I give opinions had been very negative to other people, and perhaps offended many of them, which resulted in today's non effective opinion giving. Army life was better when the guys had something in common, but I had nothing in common with my LTB team. What they all do and like were entirely different from me. Anyway what I realised is that I need to change to work better with other people. Despite all the differences, I cannot expect others to change to accomodate me because the world isn't about me myself only. I really want to thank my LTB group for giving the tight slap I so much have needed/wanted over the recent few years. Most people were too kind hearted to me. Like my seven seas brothers, who initially had to put up with my unnecessary antics. Why am I such a failure today is my reluctance to change and follow others. I still believe now I needn't follow others, but I have changed my mind that I need to change too. (see i've learnt so fast..hee) I need to change the way I do things. I cannot expect others to know how I work, without telling them. I cannot expect others to understand me by observing me only. I always observe other people to know them better but never open my mouth to talk to them. I cannot think that others will like me as long as I treat them nicely, because people need time to know me better before warming up to me. And to be frank, I always wanted to stop and chat to the people I meet in school, outside etc but I end up just waving and walking away quickly. I'm a sad sad soul.

Brothers, friends, schoolmates, most of the people I know have no time to hear my troubles. Should I still wait for them to ask me or should I tell them that I need some advice? Can you help me to find the direction I should go?

Luckily I have this blog, luckily Bernice has been telling me to think positively. Otherwise I will have just packed my bags and left the world. I am seriously sick of the world, sick of Singapore and sick of the mundane stuff in my everyday life. I'm sick of being nice to people because when I need someone to listen to me, nobody bothers. I'm sicks of being a new me already. I want to revert to the old me, hot minded, hot blooded, hot mouthed, and hot at action. My name is Jeffire, Jeff on FIRE!

Fiery
Jeffire

Acknowledged my existence at
11:34 PM