砂漠のJeffire

Jeffirean Stories

Friday, February 06, 2004

Hmm....wonder if i should tok abt life for the past 2 days, or should i tok about some of my silly tots since how many donkey years ago....

okie. i got it. since the past 2 days wasn't really any great, i guess i would tell u something abt myself...

to me, the greatest fear in life is not death. i fear being alone more than death. really. i guess that's the reason why i prefer a staying in unit more than a stay out unit. that's also why when i got nothing to do i rather come online and switch on my icq then to go play games. i have no qualms about being onz for outings as long as they are of good nature and the people going are of good nature as well, no problem with strangers. i like being with a group of people with common interest. be it soccer, betting, singing or even cooking.

yet i hate going out. the sole reason i think it's perhaps due to jealousy? haha. i am jealous of those good looking people. i dun mean the usual tall, hunky men, or those metrosexual type... i mean those with a clear looking face, with fine features, and perhaps not plagued with having to carry a spare tyre ard their stomachs....that's y to me most people nowadays are good looking. the guys nowadays make more effort to make themselves look good. i am not the type to keep combing my hair once in a few min ( i dun own a comb either, i use my hands to push my hair ard) nor do i like spendin money to buy those nice nice clothes....(but CNY still have to spend some money to buy clothes to stave off my mother's constant nagging on why we all dun like to go shopping for clothes). to me, maybe becos i am jealous, that's y i do the opposite. i dun make an effort to look good. or rather i feel no matter what i do i will neva look good. so i put my focus on other things. yet people judge others alot on impressions. i guess that's society. mabbe it's all those idols, all those stars....most of them look great... but i still muz say to me 80% of the ppl outside look good....

if impressions form so much of one's opinion towards others, then i guess i am one exception from the norm. i usually go for the voice rather than the looks. haha. really. that means for all those who sound funny, mabbe i do not really appreciate ur presence..haha. but of cos, these are only superficial impressions and i do feel personality, character are the traits that make or break one's impression onto others.

Someone with great personality, but not good looks will still be that someone that i would look out for. there are plenty ard in the arena i roam in. well, again, i ought to say that 80% of the ppl look good to me. so it mostly boils down to ur personality and ur habits. yes. ur habits. habits are unique to each person and so thus form part of the impression one projects to others. some habits are hilarious, but some are just destestable. to me i dun like smoking, spitting, and biting nails cos these are not really great for one's health or for others' health. i am veri health conscious...haha.

so the last thing i haven talked abt is what kind of personalities would interest me. i am quite a weird, or so described by my friends, eccentric, and thus my interests in personalities may be somehow perverse to u, or maybe u r just in the same boat as me? haha. ok. my top priority to look out for in one's personality is the ability to smile. hey, someone who is always cheerful usually brings a bright day to many others. so u noe. i still can rem that girl's smile....haha. which girl...er, mabbe u can ask me on my icq. the next type of personality i look out for is those with great aspirations. i enjoy bein ard ambitious people. or more so, i enjoy learnin abt wat sorts of ambitions do they want to achieve, so that perhaps i could either learn from them, or beat them to the target. i am a beri competitive person, but if i noe this field isnt gonna be mine, i will take my hat off to the one who is the best in the field among the people i know. haha. the chinese saying goes, 36 occupations, each has its champion. so u see.

whether it's looking for love, looking for friends, i apply the same fair principle that i always have. be open to all sorts of personalities, get to know them betta first before deciding whether to be more 'gam' with them (meaning to try to forge a closer tie to them) or to avoid them if necessary. this is just my way of surviving. it's betta to make friends than to make enemies, so u noe.

i think i said enuf today, mabbe it's confusing to u cos my english sux. haha. i will reveal more abt myself when the time comes....

regards
jeffire

PS: i do hope to get to know more more abt all of u ard me. feel free to tok to me if u got any thing u wan to get off ur chest. dun worri. if u wanna scold me, juz tell me. pending on ur rationale i would either concede and change myself, or i would retailiate and hope u can change urself. i do hope everyone can better themselves and make life easier and nicer for everyone, anyone...

Acknowledged my existence at
12:00 AM